Woman of the Week: Rachel Lloyd

Rachel Lloyd

I remember the stress I experienced over deciding which college to go. I remember the stress of figuring out the rooming situation and which classes to take. Even now, I experience anxiety over which major to choose, which spring break trip to attend, which summer plans I should make. I am an indecisive person, so when faced with many choices, I typically run to my friends for advice, ask my mom a hundred times what I should do, and eventually make a decision only to find myself worrying still afterwards.

While sometimes I wish I was only given one option to make things easier, I now realize how lucky I am to have choices at all—and so many.

Many people have criticized Rachel Lloyd, founder of the non-profit GEMS (Girls Educational and Mentoring Services), for the choice she made that changed the course of her life.

Lloyd made a “choice” at sixteen to leave behind her home in England, and head to Germany to start a new life. She left a home where she played the role of guardian, paying the bills and caring for a mother who attempted suicide and was sinking into alcoholism. She also made a choice to work as a hostess at “Girls, Girls, Girls” when no other job in Germany would employ a sixteen year old. Her employment at the strip club soon led her into a life of commercial sexual exploitation and eventually into the hands of a pimp.

While I sit deciding which dress to wear, which meal to order, which country I should explore abroad, girls in America are making real “choices”. In fact, according to definition, they are not making “choices” at all.

As Lloyd elucidates, “in order for a choice to be a legitimate construct, you’ve got to believe that (a) you actually have possible alternatives, and (b) you have the capacity to weigh these alternatives against one another and decide on the best avenue.”

For Lloyd and many others, there are no alternatives—there is no best avenue.

Women across America are not making a “choice” to be in the life. They are in the life due to “a lack of choices”.

In her book, Girls Like Us, Rachel Lloyd reveals the complexities and stigmas women and girls face in America's sex industry. She addresses issues of race and poverty as she illuminates the girls who haven fallen between the cracks in terms of nationwide care and recognition leaving them helpless to the control and manipulation of pimps.

Lloyd began a non-profit in her early twenties called GEMS to serve girls in the sex industry that have no one to turn to. She points out that in terms of ending commercial sexual exploitation, we need to make sure we are asking the right questions.

“We ask questions such as, ‘Why doesn’t she just leave?’ and ‘Why would someone want to turn all of their money over to a pimp?’ instead of asking, ‘What is the impact of poverty on these children?’ ‘How do race and class factor into the equation?’ ‘Beyond their family backgrounds, what is the story of their neighborhoods, their communities, their cities?’” (Lloyd 34)

            The latter questions are crucial in understanding the nature of sexual slavery in order to help those most vulnerable and bring about solutions. 

At GEMS, the girls respect Lloyd and see her as a source of inspiration. Her job is exhausting, yet she remains true to every woman she helps—never giving up on her. Her words are profound as she delves into the reasons girls sometimes return to their pimps after experiencing abuse from them, why girls don’t turn to the police for help, why they don’t understand that they deserve better.

One quote that stuck with me comes from Lloyd’s interaction with a girl named Tiana at GEMS.

“I tell Tiana, that you’ve never seen a cow, never even seen a picture of one or had one described to you, and someone tells you that a horse is a cow. Of course you’ll believe them. If you haven’t had proper love and care, then a substitute will feel like the real thing, because you’ve got nothing to compare it to.” (Lloyd 59)

This analogy explains in such a simple way how girls can be easily swayed to think abuse is how you show love. They have never seen a healthy relationship; they have grown up in foster care or are sexually abused in the home. When pimps come around and promise girls of a better life, they believe them. And when the abuse and manipulation set in, girls might think it is a display of affection or that they deserve it. Some recognize the wrongdoings of pimps but are too afraid to leave and too ashamed to get help. Many times, girls have experienced sexual abuse their whole lives and are “prepared” in a way for what’s to come in the sex industry.

However, while it may seem that a certain type of person is duped into sexual slavery, Lloyd makes it clear that commercial sexual exploitation does not discriminate--truly anyone can be coerced despite his or her background.

GEMS is still up and running and serving girls across the country. Lloyd has provided girls with a “best avenue” for life alternative to the one they have experienced in the sex industry. She is saving women and making waves in American governmental policy to provide proper choices for girls whom never had any. Her victory over commercial sexual exploitation in her personal life and her determination to help others in similar situations is commendable. Rachel Lloyd is brilliant and truly understands the depth of the issue of human trafficking. Her book, Girls Like Us, is an amazing resource on the topic of sex trafficking in America. I highly suggest reading it as you will quickly learn why she is such an inspiration to me and girls nationwide.  

Redefining "Girl"

I sat on the porch of a flat in Plettenberg Bay on the coast of South Africa. The ocean petered in and out, the mountains rose above the clouds and the curve of coast wrapped around and hugged the waters in the distance. The view was stunning, the sun blinding, but my mind lingered elsewhere. The weight of Rachel Lloyd’s Girls Like Us sat heavy in my hands. 

A foreign backpacker wandered onto the porch to share a good morning. He asked me what I was reading and I began to recite the title until I was cut off. The word “girl” signaled to him a story about nail painting and shopping sprees and he proceeded to make a joke I honestly didn’t catch. I chuckled to be courteous but was determined to shock him with the truth that this book in no way invoked laughter. I hit him hard with the words “human trafficking” and I didn’t need to say much more before he corrected himself of his previous assumption.

I guess the intensity of the book had gotten to me and for people to see the word “girl” and associate it with something futile was irritating. The term “girl” should evoke strength, resilience, the ability to excel on the world stage and exceed gendered expectations. But I guess I am biased, only because the girls I have read about for the past few weeks embody all of these characteristics. They are everything but what this backpacker associated with the word “girl”.

However, at the same time, his reaction speaks to the innocence lost on victims of sexual slavery. We hear the world girl and associate it with dress up and barbies. Yet when we hear about girls in the sex industry, working on the streets since they were 12 years old, we don’t think of them in this light and gentle way. We don’t view them as “girls” because they are forced to act in ways that contradict the behavior we associate with children.

Rachel Lloyd highlights in her book how a "memo" written in opposition to the Safe Harbor for Exploited Youth Act referred to the girls in the bill as "young adults". The legal document had referred to them as children, yet the write up insisted in changing the wording. Why? Perhaps it was to make it easier to lay blame on the girls, to make them more responsible by making them seem more adult-like. Perhaps it was because a “girl” as we know one, would never choose a life on the streets. Whatever the case, the issue of seeing girls as girls no matter what circumstances they are in is real and complicates solutions for human trafficking. This discrepancy is partly responsible for the treatment of child victims of sexual exploitation as adult criminals. Law enforcement has neglected to see girls as “girls” and sometimes knowingly chooses not to to make their jobs easier (it is easier to lock girls up as adults rather than deal with social services).

When I was younger, I attempted to run away from home to make a statement. I walked out my front door and down the driveway until I realized no one noticed I had left and my plan had failed before it even took off. I returned home because I was honestly afraid to leave. I knew I had a family that loved and supported me and my cry for attention was an act of selfishness. But what about the girls leaving their homes out of desperation? What about those living in poverty, those who are abused, those for who home is not an option? Can we blame girls for their vulnerability, for believing some “john” is really going to save her life and not enslave her? Beneath the make-up, the short skirts, the seductive smiles are girls—girls who need help, girls manipulated and tricked into the life.

The world needs to look beyond race and socioeconomic status and realize that our ignorance towards sex trafficking is hurting children. By opening our eyes to this reality we can make changes and save girls.