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| Rachel Lloyd |
I remember the stress I experienced over deciding which
college to go. I remember the stress of figuring out the rooming situation and
which classes to take. Even now, I experience anxiety over which major to
choose, which spring break trip to attend, which summer plans I should make. I
am an indecisive person, so when faced with many choices, I typically run to my
friends for advice, ask my mom a hundred times what I should do, and eventually
make a decision only to find myself worrying still afterwards.
While sometimes I wish I was only given one option to make
things easier, I now realize how lucky I am to have choices at all—and so many.
Many people have criticized Rachel Lloyd, founder of the
non-profit GEMS (Girls Educational and Mentoring Services), for the choice she made that changed the course of her life.
Lloyd made a “choice” at sixteen to leave behind her home in
England, and head to Germany to start a new life. She left a home where she
played the role of guardian, paying the bills and caring for a mother who
attempted suicide and was sinking into alcoholism. She also made a choice to
work as a hostess at “Girls, Girls, Girls” when no other job in Germany would
employ a sixteen year old. Her employment at the strip club soon led her into a
life of commercial sexual exploitation and eventually into the hands of a pimp.
While I sit deciding which dress to wear, which meal to
order, which country I should explore abroad, girls in America are making real
“choices”. In fact, according to definition, they are not making “choices” at
all.
As Lloyd elucidates, “in order for a choice to
be a legitimate construct, you’ve got to believe that (a) you actually have
possible alternatives, and (b) you have the capacity to weigh these
alternatives against one another and decide on the best avenue.”
For Lloyd and many others, there are no
alternatives—there is no best avenue.
Women across America are not making a “choice”
to be in the life. They are in the life due to “a lack of choices”.
In her book, Girls Like Us, Rachel Lloyd
reveals the complexities and stigmas women and girls face in America's sex industry. She addresses issues of race and poverty as she illuminates the girls
who haven fallen between the cracks in terms of nationwide care and recognition
leaving them helpless to the control and manipulation of pimps.
Lloyd began a non-profit in her early twenties
called GEMS to serve girls in the sex industry that have no one to turn to. She
points out that in terms of ending commercial sexual exploitation, we need to
make sure we are asking the right questions.
“We ask questions such as, ‘Why doesn’t
she just leave?’ and ‘Why would someone want to turn all of their money over to
a pimp?’ instead of asking, ‘What is the impact of poverty on these children?’
‘How do race and class factor into the equation?’ ‘Beyond their family
backgrounds, what is the story of their neighborhoods, their communities, their
cities?’” (Lloyd 34)
The latter questions are crucial in understanding the nature of sexual slavery in order to help those most vulnerable and bring about solutions.
At GEMS, the
girls respect Lloyd and see her as a source of inspiration. Her job is
exhausting, yet she remains true to every woman she helps—never giving up on
her. Her words are profound as she delves into the reasons girls sometimes
return to their pimps after experiencing abuse from them, why girls don’t turn
to the police for help, why they don’t understand that they deserve better.
One quote that stuck with me comes from Lloyd’s interaction
with a girl named Tiana at GEMS.
“I tell Tiana, that you’ve never
seen a cow, never even seen a picture of one or had one described to you, and
someone tells you that a horse is a cow. Of course you’ll believe them. If you
haven’t had proper love and care, then a substitute will feel like the real
thing, because you’ve got nothing to compare it to.” (Lloyd 59)
This analogy explains in such a simple way how girls can be
easily swayed to think abuse is how you show love. They have never seen a
healthy relationship; they have grown up in foster care or are sexually abused
in the home. When pimps come around and promise girls of a better life, they
believe them. And when the abuse and manipulation set in, girls might think it
is a display of affection or that they deserve it. Some recognize the wrongdoings of pimps but are too afraid to
leave and too ashamed to get help. Many times, girls have experienced sexual
abuse their whole lives and are “prepared” in a way for what’s to come in the sex industry.
However, while it may seem that a certain type of person is
duped into sexual slavery, Lloyd makes it clear that commercial sexual exploitation does not discriminate--truly anyone can be coerced despite his or her background.
GEMS is still up and running and serving girls across the
country. Lloyd has provided girls with a “best avenue” for life alternative to the one they have experienced in the sex industry. She is saving women and making waves in American governmental policy to provide proper choices for girls whom never had any. Her victory over commercial sexual exploitation in her personal life and her determination to help others in similar situations is commendable. Rachel Lloyd is brilliant and truly understands the depth of the issue of human trafficking. Her book, Girls Like Us, is an amazing resource on the topic of sex trafficking in America. I highly suggest reading it as you will quickly learn why she is such an inspiration to me and girls nationwide.
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